T. has a Boone to Pickens with you.Strangest business-tycoon-turned-wind-activist: T. Boone Pickens

Sootiest sponsorship of the Democratic National Convention: clean coal campaign

Unfortunatest phrase to come from the Republican National Convention: “Drill, Baby, Drill”

Tiredest phrase from PR lexicon: “_______ is going green”

Most overused, overhyped, and misunderstood term: green jobs

Nation’s expertest hockey mom on energy policy: Sarah Palin

Worst re-use of something delicious: Chocolate-powered coal

Clean Coal Carolers.Smarmiest corruption of Christmas carols to push an agenda: Clean Coal Carolers

Best environmental ballot success in California’s 2008 elections: Prop. 2, animal welfare

Second best environmental ballot success in California’s 2008 elections: Prop 1A, high-speed rail

Goodest riddance: Richard “Dick” Cheney

Second-goodest riddance: George W. Bush

Grossest PETA campaign most likely to drive people away from vegetarianism: George Clooney-flavored tofu

Sketchiest PETA campaign most likely to drive people away from vegetarianism: Test-tube shmeat

Leavin’ Stephen.A Johnson we hope never to see again: Stephen

Freakiest heavy metal in our Froot Loops: mercury

Royalest climate champion: Prince Charles

Hottest eco-activist in the White House: Van Jones

Trivialest issue Ask Umbra addressed: Earth Day slogans

First president to take climate change seriously: Barack Obama

Grist’s favoritest eco-product to test: organic booze! (beer part 1, 2, and 3, champagne, and wine)

Grist’s awkwardest but usefulest eco-product to test: feminine products

(Relatedly) Grist’s most awesomest headline ever: Red Vadge of Courage

Most meaningless green superlative: most fuel efficient SUV

Just a hockey mom …Photo: Tricia Ward.Hockey mom most hung up on natural gas: Sarah Palin

Dopest April Fool’s day joke: organic weed

Awesomest surprise benefit of eating locally: getting laid

Biggest presidential campaign stunt that’s hard to talk about without snickering: McCain’s $300 million battery prize

Overwhelmingest air-pollution-induced media frenzy: Beijing Olympics

Inspiredest use of body heat for cogeneration: to warm the pool at the Beijing Olympics

Lamest climate bill to not pass Congress: Lieberman-Warner Climate Security Act

Hockey mom least hung up on greenhouse gases: Sarah Palin, you betcha!

Hottest MILF: Mother Earth

Coen Brothers’ anti-clean coal ad.  Click to watch.Best recent use of Coen Brothers’ time: anti-clean coal ad

Anti-climacticest coal protest: Capitol Power Plant

Political fight most reminiscent of Groundhog Day: Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius’ fourth veto of a coal-fired power plant

Winner of the James Inhofe award for an outstanding contribution to the promotion of climate change skepticism: George Will

Runner-up: Michael Steele

Scariest climate change impact you haven’t read about: ocean acidification

Most exciting advance in bus technology: EcoRide BE35

Cutest 10-year-old in the blogosphere: Let’s hear a chorus of happy birthday …

Shiniest, punniest, brand-spanking-newest, clickalicious-est green website: aw, shucks
Don’t forget the man junk …
Manliest organic body product on the market: Man Junk

Biggest potential waste of stimulus dollars: $3.4 billion for clean coal

Hockey mom who didn’test make it to the White House (whew): There you go again, Sal

Most geniustastic farmer: Will Allen

Hottest under-the-radar political battle: school lunches

Most futuristic tricycle-car in production this year: Aptera 2e

Exhilaratingest feeling we haven’t felt in a long time, like since Al Gore won ran for the presidency: Hope.